0 degrees North

Yadira (Blue shirt in back) and her family in front of their new home we helped them build. Jason-John is in wheel-chair and he was my friend! (I'm in back wearing red).
Coffee beans drying


Back in Wisconsin.
I am lucky to have a nice home, clean sheets, hot showers, an abundance of food, American coffee and the love of family and friends. This is not the first time going through an adjustment back to the United States culture. I can't be insensitive saying that it gets easier each time but it does. I think the awareness that here is home and I can't change that I grew up in a very privileged city and family compared to a lot of people I have met in the world. I don't take it for granted.
What doesn't get easier is telling people my stories.
The class I was in while I went to Nicaragua was supposed to teach us how to tell a personal narrative about community development. For three days now I have sat down to my Sony Vaio Laptop with a $2.00 cup of coffee, my notebook, the guidelines, assigned readings and pictures on facebook at my favorite coffee shop. I stare at the blank screen, scan my notes and desperately search for words to write. It doesn't help that I picked what my professor called "an abstract" topic... on deforestation. Yet environmental issues are my passion and I thought that would be easy to write about... turns out, it isn't. My topic lacks the 'grotesque and exoticism' that readers are enraptured by. Land cleared for crops and logging... sounds similar to Wisconsin.
I have stories about the people, about the culture, about the poverty, about the nature. What is hard is telling a story that will impact others, that will transport them, that will help them understand and see what I truly saw.

So, I sit and pray for inspiration for 3,000 words of inspiration to be exact. And right now I am just thankful for my hot coffee.


Psalm Posted on the walls of on of our host families:
Psalm 91:4
"He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

Being a Nica

Nicaragua

The light breeze blows as I sit around and look at the beautiful woman around me it is hard not to feel peaceful. The mango trees have small green fruits and the palm and guava trees make Managua the tropical land I anticipated. The smell is reminiscent of other countries I have been to before such as Cambodia and Bali without the smell of incense, as Nicaragua is primarily a Catholic nation. The air is thick with the smell of burning garbage and fruitiness. I feel at home. The family I am living with for the week has four generations in one home. Great grandma (abuela), grandma, Urielle (son and our host dad) and his daughter(and other nieces and nephews who are around eight years old.) The sense of community here is astounding. I am learning how ´to be´ more and more each day and foster a lack of urgency in my daily tasks.

The Little Small Things

The first day of 2012 came as a startle as I lazily slam the snooze button for the fifth time. My eyes snap open look at the clock and my heart drops as I realize I am forty-five minutes late for work and my only triumph is “At least I didn’t have to open today”. I glance out the window confused that it is light out then I remember it is 6:45 am. With the hazy glow I see puffs of white floating and I nearly screamed with joy except the hush of sleeping house. I scramble out the door and claim the first foot print in the fluffy white carpet and inhale a deep breath of mild winter morning air. 2012 has arrived with a washing “white as snow.”

I am now sitting on my bed, January first, and reading assigned articles for the 3-week Interim class, Writing Community Development in Nicaragua Class, that starts in the morning. I can’t escape the peace and anticipations I feel about the New Year. I revel that I live in a great state with a record breaking football team with a second line quarterback that is more than capable of stealing the show. I see my gold OPI crackle nail polish shimmer as I type and feel continually delighted at my holiday splurge. The past year has attested to be a highlight of the smaller things. My blessings I count when the snowflakes dance, seeing the Northern lights radiate green on Lake Michigan for the first time ever, I learn a new song on guitar, strumming the banjo, the fireplace glow at the flip of a switch, watching “chopped” marathons on the food network, random text messages, getting fun-friend mail, a good cup of piping hot coffee, aromatic peppermint tea, sending cards full of encouraging words, having a really good weep for no reason, “Indian Summer” bike rides, getting long hugs from my mom with a back scratch and all, listening to the nonchalant ramblings of my dad, walking my dog on crisp winter nights, tear filled weddings, gold nail polish, and marveling at how life continues to change. The small things.

I leave in two days for Nicaragua, the second poorest country in the western hemisphere. This trip could classify as a “big thing” in my book and will no doubt be a highlight of 2012 (when I look back next year) but I am reminded that this “big” trip is really a puzzle of little things that come together to form a complete picture, the “experience”.

As I pack my one small carry on piece of luggage, I realize I am only filling it with the essentials. A few small things (I can’t get over how cute travel size things are). The professor encouraged us prior to make the trip a “time-out” from our lives as we currently live them, that news thrilled me as I am always looking for momentary escapes but those are selfishly for “me” time. This trip is an outward bound participation trip focused on developing a detailed narrative about our experiences in Nicaragua. Experience and participation allude to interaction with others. I am not going on vacation but rather on a trip to actively engage with locals. Live in their homes, eat their food, try to communicate, listen actively, observe and offer my hands (and feet) to do hard work. I have fears of making mistakes and often that builds brick walls. Maybe this trip I can release my fear of failure and open my eyes to see the small things that I can be a part of, to be an observer of the little things that make up life's complete picture for my special Nicaraguan friends.

Goodbye my fluffy dancing snowflakes, hello…?

"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Isaiah 1:18